Happy Rebirthday
by Lady Raion
Summary: Squinoa Sometimes the best birthday gift doesn't come wrapped up in a package.... short, sweet, and unbelievably fluffy. Happy bday, Sempai!


A/N:  This is a belated birthday gift to my dear friend Sami-Sempai.  So...  Happy belated, non-expensive-gift-with-no-shipping-and-handling-birthday!  Enjoy!

"Today is the birth of a new me...

Without extinguishing the flame of beautiful memories...

Beyond the door there are no promises

But let's go, another morning is here"

--"Another Morning" by The Pillows

                                                            Happy Rebirth Day

            She hadn't said a word for days.  To say that it was unnerving would be an understatement, but to say it was undeserved would be an outright lie.  One of the worst thing about messing up was knowing that you had no one to blame but yourself, no matter how much he wished he could point the finger at anyone else... The headmaster maybe?  Hell, he'd be happy even to lay the burden on the stack of papers before him that seemed to never diminish in size.  Yet he knew there was no escaping this one.  He was drowning in his own mistakes and his hand had breached the water for the very last time.

            It just wasn't like her to stay silent, even for something as serious as this.  She'd always been so quick to let him know exactly how she felt, why was this any different?  If she would just scream at him and get it over with, maybe he could actually sleep again.  But it was not to be.  In fact, it was as if she'd spread her muteness to the others as well.  Selphie would sit and glare rusty daggers at him on her friend's behalf, and Quistis would sigh at him and shake her head in that disapproving-instructor way that she was so well known for, but neither had spared even a greeting in passing since March fourth.  Zell and Irvine still spoke to him, but even they seemed reluctant about it.

            "Why don't you just apologize and get it over with?" Zell had finally asked him one evening as he watched the weary commander absent-mindedly scribble his name on various papers. 

            "Tried that," was all he said.

            "And?  She didn't forgive you?  That isn't like her at all."

            Artic-colored eyes glared at him then, forcing the martial artist back into silence.  Everyone was sticking their nose into his business, yet none of them had anymore of a clue than he did.

            "Well... have you at least gotten her a present?" Zell asked cautiously, his eyes darting around the room in search of his friend's infamous Gunblade.  With the mood he was in right now, there was no guarantee that he'd keep his head much longer.

            "Yeah, that's gonna fix everything," Squall hissed in sarcasm.

            "Hey, chicks love presents.  That's why they get so upset when you forget their birthday.  Something pretty and expensive should win her over in no time."

            Outside the office door, Rinoa paused just out of sight, and a bitter smile contorted her features.  At least now she knew if Squall tried that tactic to murder Zell instead.  Shaking her head, she continued down the hall to the copier with a flier for the next Garden festival in her hands.  Despite her misery, Selphie had taken advantage of her friend's sudden free schedule and set her to work on festival preparation under the pretense that it would 'take her mind off things'.

            She paused next to the shredder in the copier room and produced two different envelopes, one with the seal of Deling City on the front and the other with no return address.  She wasn't sure what was worse, two people trying to buy her affections for yet another year, or the person she cared about the most completely forgetting something that was so important to her.  Just once, she had wanted something sincere.

            "Rinoa?"

            She wheeled around in surprise, fighting off the scowl that tugged at her lips at the sound of his voice.  Instead, she struggled to maintain a completely aloof expression, something she had inadvertently learned to do after spending so much time with him.  She gave him only a curt nod of her head before turning back to the copy machine in hopes that he would let her finish her task in peace.

            "Look, I already told you I'm sorry," he continued.  "Why don't I take you out tonight to make up for it?"

            Her merciless slamming of the buttons on the machine was the only indication she gave of even hearing him at all.  He sighed and stepped forward until he was right behind her, peering over her shoulder.  "What are those?" he asked, gesturing toward the envelopes that were now sitting on the desk next to the shredder.  When she didn't answer, he reached over her and picked them up.

            "What the hell do you think you're doing?" she nearly screeched in reaction.

            His face remained serious, but his eyes reflected amusement.  "I knew something would make you talk."

            Her expression soured further as he took it upon himself to open the first one.  It was sent from her father's mansion in Deling, and contained a check for ten thousand gil.  Though it was obviously a birthday present, there was no note or card, or anything to indicate so.  The second one, with no name other than hers on the outside, contained a small slip of paper with a phone number and a name that nearly made him choke.  Coiled up in the bottom was a silver chain with a very familiar-looking cross dangling from it.  She barely quelled the urge to laugh at his sudden pallor.

            "That's right, Squall.  Even your arch rival managed to remember, but it simply wasn't important enough for you."

            With that she pushed past him, promptly dumping the chain into the trash before feeding both paper objects to the steel-toothed machine.  Yes, she wanted him to feel bad, but she wasn't going to go so far as to make him think she wanted anything more to do with that creep of an ex.  Of course that didn't stop her from 'forgetting' to mention that the only real reason Seifer had sent her anything was to take a shot at Squall.  Up until then, he'd never remembered her birthday either, which only served to make her more furious with her current boyfriend.

            She snatched up the newly printed stack of fliers from the out-tray and left without another word.  He was in too much of a surprised, self-loathing stupor to stop her.  He could honestly say he'd never felt so low in his life.  At least that took care of his confusion, though.  He'd forgotten other important things before, or had simply shied away from them, and the result had never been this bad.  No wonder she was taking this harder.  Everyone in her life remembered except for the person that was supposed to care for her the most.  

Cursing himself, he strode back into his office and slammed the door behind him, thankful that Zell had already left.  He needed time to figure out what he could possibly do now to make it up to her.

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            "I won't..." she whispered to herself.  "I won't do it."

            Despite her argument, the tears had already started to fall by the time she'd reached the elevator.  As the doors slid open on the first floor, she recognized a member of the festival committee waiting on a bench to board the elevator himself.  Without a word, she shoved the papers into his arms before taking off for her room.

            Once there, within the sanctuary of those four familiar walls, she allowed the dam to break open, and collapsed on her bed.  Sniffling, she opened her eyes and squinted at the chocobo doll Selphie had gotten her through blurred vision.  All of her friends had been there, smiling as if in true appreciation of the fact that she was born, yet still, she had been depressed.  All because one person hadn't cared enough to show up then... she hugged her knees to her chest and cursed him beneath her breath.  She had wanted so badly to believe he was different...

              He simply couldn't shake the tightness that gripped his chest suddenly.  It seemed to squeeze the air from his lungs and fill him with anguish that was so overwhelming to have come upon him suddenly that he actually felt his eyes start to sting with tears.  

            For the few minutes he'd sat alone in his office before this, he couldn't shake the heavy feeling of disappointment in himself, and the near desperation for Rinoa to be happy with him once more.  Still, as troubled as he was, it couldn't have possibly been the cause for what he was feeling now.

            Before he could properly regain his bearing from the unexpected emotional ambush, his mind was slammed with intense fatigue, and he felt as if his consciousness had been ensnared by some kind of powerful force he didn't understand.  Despite his best efforts, he found himself drifting off to sleep with his head on his desk...

            Her mind drifted back to her sixth birthday, only a few months after her mother had passed away.  She had expected another big party where all the kids in her class would be invited, and every form of amusement a six-year-old could ever dream of being present.  No matter what, her father would take off from work, and her mother would put aside her CD recording or touring so that they could be there with her and shower her with attention all day.  Her mother wouldn't be there now, and the thought almost made her dread the up-coming celebration.  At least, she had thought to herself, her father would be there for her...  Yet, March third had come and gone, and she hadn't caught so much as a glimpse of the general.

            It wasn't until her ninth birthday that either his memory had kicked in once more or someone had gotten up the courage to remind him.  Either way, he still didn't even bother to show up.  The only indication that he had even thought of her at all was the pricey porcelain doll, covered in bright pink wrapping paper, that was left on her bed that afternoon, a white to/from tag taped to the surface.  For about an hour she could only stare down at his neat, precise signature.  He signed her present the exact same way he signed his name on military documents.  It seemed dumb now, but it had made her feel as if she were nothing more than another obligation to him.  

            The years had passed on that way, with a new, impersonal present appearing on her bed on every new birthday.  If that wasn't rubbing salt into the wound, she didn't know what was.  The man couldn't even spare a kind word to her on her date of birth, but he didn't even know what she liked.  She had gotten everything from ponies, which she was somehow allergic to, to ballet tickets, which was something she had never been fond of.  The expensive, extravagant parties had returned with time, and when she hit her teens, the usual useless gifts of his were replaced with wads of gil.

            Her friends, too, had always gotten her presents, and as much as she appreciated the efforts of her four companions, it still left her with an empty feeling.  Gifts were common courtesy, nothing more.

            "At least it's better than being forgotten," she mumbled, as she slowly drifted off to sleep, the effect of all those unpleasant memories having taken a heavy toll on her.

            In his office, Squall's eyes slowly fluttered open, the distinct sentiment of confusion setting in.  It was certainly one of the weirdest dreams he'd ever had, and he could only imagine that it had been conjured up by his guilt-ridden conscience.  Still, it had felt so real... but to actually feel Rinoa's emotions, and peer into her past?  The doubt and skepticism of his ever-logical mind started to persuade him that it had been nothing more than an illusion before he remembered that his girlfriend was a sorceress, and his 'sis' was some kind of mental time-travel machine wrapped up in a human package.  Yeah... in this world pretty much anything was possible...

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            It was early in the morning when Rinoa was awoken by an incessant pounding on her door.  She stumbled out of bed, shivering when her bare feet hit the icy tile floor, and slipped a robe on.  She jerked the door open, in no mood to receive visitors.

            "What do you want, Zell?" she asked around a huge yawn.

            He shrugged.  "Just thought I'd come and tell you about the new mission.  Or actually, Squall's new mission.  He's going alone."

            Rinoa returned with a shrug of her own.  "He goes out on missions all the time," she bit out, the bitterness in her voice not going undetected.  "He goes all the time... no matter what else might be happening."

            "Yeah, but this one is a little different.  He'll be gone for months... at the least.  It could be even more than that, and of course, as with any mission, there's always the chance he won't come back at all."

            Rinoa's scowl deepened.  "And he couldn't bother to tell me himself?"

            "After what happened before?  He's too ashamed to even show his face on this hallway."

            She narrowed her eyes suspiciously.  "He wouldn't have told you about what happened."

            "You're right.  We had to weasel it out of him, as always.  Anyway, I know you're still mad at him, and you've got a right to be, but I was thinking, maybe you should at least say goodbye to him before he leaves?  I mean... you don't want him going away thinking you hate him, do you?"

            She sighed heavily, something between a frown and a pout flickering over her face.  "Well, where is he?"

            "Oh, probably running around all over the place, trying to settle things before he leaves.  Your best bet to catch him is at the Ragnarok, just before he leaves.  I think he's supposed to leave around... four, or four-thirty.  In the morning, that is."

            "Why so early?" she exclaimed.

            "Cid wants him to have a head start, I guess."   

            "Alright, thanks," Rinoa nodded and gently closed the door, murmuring to herself.  "That dumb-ass... how could he ever think I wouldn't care, even if I was mad?"

            Rinoa had roamed the halls of the garden all day in hopes of seeing Squall.  As much as she didn't want to admit it, her resolve to stay angry was already cracking.  The day before the primal desire to make him suffer in revenge for what he'd done to her had burned through her veins, and like a deeply wounded animal, she had lashed out, at the time uncaring of the consequences.  Now she was feeling guilty, knowing that she had gone about things the wrong way.  Her remorse made little difference, however, and she didn't see him at all.  She vaguely wondered if it really was because he was busy, or if it was just because he was avoiding her.

            Four o'clock came, and she had already been waiting by the Ragnarok for fifteen minutes, her heart pounding in her chest and her stomach burning in anxiety.  What could she possibly say to him now?  An apology still didn't feel right, as he had wronged her too, but just pretending like nothing ever happened wouldn't solve anything.

            Four-thirty rolled around, and she was ready to explode.  The door to the giant red bird was open, the gangway pulled down to the ground and lights were shining from the inside, yet she knew he wasn't in there.  She stared at the massive ship, her mind wandering off as she noted the eerie, nightmarish shadows it cast in the darkened hangar, the emerald 'eyes' of the dragon-bird gleaming like that of some childhood monster.

            Suddenly, she felt strong arms around her waist, and she was being lifted up until her feet could no longer touch the floor.  Her mind blurred, and she found herself being set back on the floor of the ship, the door sliding closed behind her.  She turned to confront her captor, but the door on the other side of the room had already closed, leaving her alone.  Her initial fear had subsided, however, the familiar scent of leather lingering in her nose putting her mind at ease.  It did nothing to ease her irritation.  With an angry growl, she tried to get out, but to no avail.  The hatch wouldn't budge, and she soon realized why, as the ship shook and shuddered with newfound life.

            With a sigh, and a slight pout on her small pink lips, Rinoa left the empty room and headed up to the passenger room, gliding past the numerous seats and coming to stand in front of the glass, pressing her hand against it as she watched Balamb become a tiny dot in the distance.  It was still mostly dark out, a navy canopy enshrouding the sky.  The horizon was tinged with purples and pinks, and a light gold was beginning to creep up the sky, as if someone had lit it on fire.  The darkness was slowly melting away, the boundless, colorful void above shedding its bitter shadows in favor of the life-giving light.

            "It's beautiful, isn't it?" the deep voice sounded from behind her, slowly bringing her from her reverie, and allowing the reality of her confusion to settle in her mind once more.

            She turned to him with an odd look that was something between anger and curiosity.  "What am I doing here?  I mean... why did you bring me with you?  Last time I checked I wasn't part of this mission."

            He crossed his arms over his chest, exhaling loudly.  "You're the whole reason for the mission."

            Her eyes narrowed.  "What do you mean?  And you could've told me instead of scaring me like that!  You're just on a roll lately, aren't you _commander?_"

            Squall felt the urge to cringe at the venom she injected in that title, but managed to stay expressionless.  Instead, he worked up the courage and stepped closer to her, albeit cautiously.  "You haven't spoken to me for days," he said, and immediately wanted to kick himself.  Of course _she_ knew that she wasn't speaking to him.  His mind scrambled frantically for something less obvious to say.

            "Thanks for reminding me," she replied before turning her back to him once more.

            He slipped his arms around her from behind, and instead of trying to fight him off, she just stood rigid within his embrace, trying to pretend as though she didn't feel him there at all.  He nuzzled his face into her neck until she could feel his warm breath against her skin, and the goose bumps that spread were undeniable proof that he had more control over her body than she did.

            "It's always darkest just before the dawn," he quoted, watching the sun creep past the horizon over her shoulder.  "Still, no matter how dark it gets, the morning comes, and you can always start anew."

            She wanted to snap at him, rudely inquire if there was some kind of point, but his fingers entwining with her own seemed to steal the words from her mouth, and she could do nothing but stare at the coming of the new day.  So what if the morning brings a new day, she thought to herself.  When the memories of the day before are still so clear in your mind, how can you just go on like nothing happened at all?

            "People make mistakes," he began again.  "I honestly didn't understand why you were so angry... then I had a dream.  I saw you, as a child... your father... he was always forgetting about your birthday, or treating it as if it wasn't anything important..."

            Rinoa's eyes widened slightly.  "When did you dream this?"

            "Just a little while after our little confrontation in the copy room."

            "...Odd.  That's when I started thinking about all that stuff."

            He tightened his hold on her.  "So it really did happen?"

            "Yes."  She laughed just slightly then.  "I guess it's some kind of sorceress and knight connection, huh?  But yeah... No one... ever really seem to care when I was younger.  I went from being smothered with affection to being... forgotten.  And it wasn't just my birthday it was every day.  It just seemed to hurt worse then, you know?"

            He nodded.  "No one ever remembered mine either... at least not after Ellone left."

            She gave a small, sad laugh.  "So we both had terrible birthdays."

            "Yeah, but..." he paused for a brief moment, as if struggling with his words.  "Things have changed.  I can't promise you that you'll never be hurt again, but when you are, I'll be there.  I can't promise I'll never mess up again, but it will never be my intention to hurt you, and when I do, I'll do anything in my power to make it up to you.  We have each other now, we don't need anyone else anymore.  It's a new day, Rinoa, so let's try and let go.  Let's start over... together."

            She smiled, despite the trembling of her bottom lip, and blinked away the tears that had collected at the corners of her eyes.  She'd gotten all kinds of things for her birthday.  Everything from a chocobo doll to jewelry from the people she'd cared about.  Now she was getting the chance to leave the pain behind, to start over again with the person who cared about her the most.  "Yeah," she finally managed to choke out.  "Let's do that."

            Nothing more needed to be said as they watched the sun break free of the ground and drift into the gold-plated atmosphere above, the darkness having been burned away by the intensity of the light.  Nightmares vanished and fears were vanquished by streams of vivid yellow as people everywhere rose to join the world of the waking once more, each person facing a new day of endless opportunities.

            Rinoa was the first one to speak, asking of her companion, "So what about this mission?  Zell told me you were leaving for months."

            "You and I are leaving for a week to anywhere you want," he replied.  "Selphie snuck in and packed up some of your things while you were out, and I told Zell to tell you that just to get you to the hangar.  I decided I'd rather not drag you here kicking and screaming.  I... hope it's okay."

            "Well, asking does have its benefits, but... it's definitely more romantic this way.  How could I ever be upset with a surprise that includes being alone with you?  I just never thought you'd ask for help with something personal like this.  There's hope for you yet, Squall Leonhart."

            She could feel his chest vibrate against her back as he chuckled.  "I guess you're too much for me to handle on my own."

            She playfully swatted his arm before relaxing against him once more.  "You know, you got me two different presents, but you haven't said it yet."  She felt him tense slightly, and laughed.  "No, no, it's two words, not three."

            He turned her around to face him, and gave her a small, chaste kiss against her lips.  "Maybe tomorrow I'll say the three-word-phrase.  Or maybe the next day.  I won't make any promises other than that I will tell you someday, and even if I can't say it yet... well, you know.  As for the two-word-phrase..." his lips curled into a rare smile, which he quickly hid against her silky raven tresses.  "Happy re-birthday, Rinoa."

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A/N:  Well, I'm actually more of a night person.  Oh!  And all you parents out there don't stop with the b-day money!  This is just a fic, after all...  A mushy corny fic... forgive me.  I'd hide in my fireproof suit, but I'm having it dry-cleaned.  It also doubles as my parental-lecture-proof suit and its taken quite a beating lately.  

Note:  Well, it took me awhile to finish this fic so... it's now a _really_-belated-non-expensive-gift-with-no-shipping-and-handling-gift.


End file.
